I guess I should give a short update...

For those that remember, my W had an A now a couple of years ago. This was over.... we were working on the M... the progress stalled. I set boundaries... she said she couldn't meet them... we agreed to separate.

We have been separated for 2 months now. I thought things were going great. We were still very good friends... doing a lot of family stuff with our 2 sons. She would invite for me dinner, visited our campsite when I went with the boys, took a roadtrip that ended up overnight because of car trouble... even a couple of times of SF. She would tell me she misses me, and loves me. I didn't push relationship talk very much... we had a plan to go 3 months and then see where we were.

This past weekend (the same weekend of our little overnight trip away with the kids), she connected up with an old friend on facebook. This friend, actually 2 friends... they are twins and so is my W... hadn't been in contact with her since she was 7... they were about 10 years older than her. I knew she had talked to one of them on the phone for 2 hours... I was ok... figured it was all just catching up.

Had a bad vibe and went snooping. Found messages back and forth which were very flirtatious, mentioned that she couldn't wake to get back from (our road trip) to talk to him again, and she was discussing marriage with the one who is divorced. After a few emails and one conversation... she has found her long lost love from when she was 7. She quotes that her Mom says she hadn't sounded happier than she did after her 2 hour phone conversation.

My W's sister is also talking to the other one... about her own marriage problems. The two of them are feeding off each other.

I flipped and said I want a divorce... the first time those words came out of my mouth.

Since then... a couple of sleepless nights.... I have decided that I need to go to Plan B... which never happened with us before. This step should happen before I say I make it permanent... for a few reasons which I won't get into now.

Ok... now waiting for questions, 2x4s, incredulous statements, and laughter at my naivette... anything that will help... or even if it doesn't help, it will give me something to do when I can't sleep.

Shaden


BH (Me) - 38
WW - 36
Married - 16 years
2 children - 10,12
DD1 - 05/30/05 - EA suspected, W wanted space
DD2 - 07/01/05 - EA/PA discovered & confronted WW
DD3 - 07/21/05 - Further contact discovered and now ended.
11/07/05 - exposed to OMW...
07/01/07 - separated to give "space". recovery was not progressing.
09/04/07 - DDAY all over... new OM.

Patience with God is Faith.
Patience with myself is Hope.
Patience with others is Love.
FAITH REQUIRES ACTION!