Give me the rundown on "all in"

I think so. Going dark is no problem... as long as it doesn't affect my kids.

I need to think some more on exposure... I don't have very much to go on... but am willing. I'm not against the exposure... just done that without any positive affects. The guy is divorced. My W's family already know and support her, I think. They certainly won't go against her... they didn't the last time... because their moral compass is just as whacked... for all their talk of Christianity and the Lord will look after them. I am a Christian... so I'm not putting down Christianity... just those who use it to sound good and to their advantage.

My W talks to others and says she is trusting in the Lord to bring her through this... but does not do anything (except stay for awhile in guilt) to repair the marriage that she has.

My other option is divorce... so I'm game.

However... there are some things that I need to think about on my own to ensure that I feel comfortable that I am not lowering my own integrity.

When I confronted my W about the new guy, she was just angry that I was snooping again... so was her sister. How could I possibly break her trust in this way and invade her privacy??? LOL Snooping is not below my integrity if it is to protect my family. In the past, I have argued against it... not now. However, snooping does hurt me as well... and it brings on anxiety and sleepless nights, so I will have to put a limit on it.

I don't think my W will respond to the hard tactics of Plan B... but right now I am doing this first for me and my sons... with her I have nothing to lose. She certainly didn't respond to the softer tactics.

Okay... I've convinced myself as I've talked. What do you suggest?


BH (Me) - 38
WW - 36
Married - 16 years
2 children - 10,12
DD1 - 05/30/05 - EA suspected, W wanted space
DD2 - 07/01/05 - EA/PA discovered & confronted WW
DD3 - 07/21/05 - Further contact discovered and now ended.
11/07/05 - exposed to OMW...
07/01/07 - separated to give "space". recovery was not progressing.
09/04/07 - DDAY all over... new OM.

Patience with God is Faith.
Patience with myself is Hope.
Patience with others is Love.