Once divorced it's never perfect again for a kid

You're right about that - and that's exactly what I've said. So under imperfect conditions, we make the best of it.

BTW - it's never *ever* perfect anyway, even in a good marriage.

What's worse? Divorced parents who are amicable, or a couple staying together and the entire family is miserable?

I struggled with that question for literally *years*. And once I made that most difficult decision - that living in misery wasn't worth it, I've found that life can be good again, and when I've asked my kids, they are happier too. It reflects in their actions, not just their words.

...... it's just adults need to be adults and save the boyfriend, girlfriend relationships for when you don't have the kids in your care .......I don't care how nice everybody is with each other, it doesn't protect the kids and it sure doesn't help them adjust (another lie adults tell each other to make themselves feel better).

Alrighty - so let's say that a parent never lets on to their kids that they are dating, and only dates when the kids are with the other parent - or otherwise out of the house... eventually that relationship becomes marriage material - do you just spring it on your kids one day that you're getting married to somebody they don't know?

I do agree with not bringing kids into the mix until the adult ascertains that this person is worthy of a long-term relationship perhaps with marriage as a goal... but at what point is it OK with *you* for people to start their lives again?

I don't even know why I'm engaging in this discussion... seems that you're really just trying to be inflammatory.


F/40, DD15 DS13 M 1989 DDay his EA May 1998. S Aug 2004. D Dec 05. I filed. 4/07 Post-D Plan A with 180, with hopes of R. 6/23/07 XH said no to R. 8/24/07 Went on a date with someone new, "B". 1/22/08 Still seeing B, life is good! Learning and growing each day. Ask me about Geocaching!