The simple answer is that no he didn't. But it was as much my mistake as his.

We came away from our initial d-day at which time he had already ended his affair. Neither he nor I knew about MB until 15 months post d-day so our recovery was never really valid or firm.

We didn't get the MC we should have and completely believed that all we really needed to do was meet each others EN's.

Now he did get it mostly right being completely open and honest, writing a NC letter (although we didn't know that was what it was), and pretty much accounting for all of his time.

What we failed to grasp was that his affair was as much a coping mechanism that he used when things were not going well between us, or at his job, or whatever situation he was experiencing that he didn't feel he was in control of.

So his slip up was in response to our having a severe disagreement on our way to a class reunion. While there he ignored me and flirted with a woman he hadn't seen in nearly 30 years.

It really upset me that he would do such a thoughtless thing after all we had been thru. If that wasn't enough, he followed up his betrayal with an email to a male classmate who was also at the reunion and expressed his interest in the woman.

I found the email message since I had access to the account and just plain told him we were done.

Initially, he thought that he had done nothing wrong because he had no intention of actually getting or staying in contact with her. The similarity to how his first affair began with a former college classmate completely escaped him.

Honestly, It was the folks here at MB that helped open his eyes to what he had done and how terribly serious the situation was.

We began counseling with Jennifer and she was really able to help him understand the absolute necessity for him to never put himself in a position where someone other than me could make deposits into his love bank.

We are fine now, and I do believe we are recovered. But, you know that I also think that I will always be just a little bit fearful that overtime he will forget and possible slip up again.


I am the BW,
He is the FWH
D-Day: 12/02/03