You were asking where you have control. The control is in the lying.

Absolutely. You control your wife by controlling the truth. Nobody can make an honest decision when they do not have all the facts, and when you withold the facts you rob your wife of control over HER life and keep all that control entirely for yourself.

People who control the truth keep others dangling like puppets on strings. They seem to enjoy the "power" they have by constantly jerking those strings and then pretending not to understand when the puppets strenuously object to this treatment.

They pretend to be victims of their own suffering puppets but are absolutely determined to remain a victim. Why? Because victims cannot be held responsible for their actions. They're victims, remember? Victims Deserve No Consequences!

Sad, sad, sad. What a pathetic waste of a marriage, a family and several lives.

Me, BW
WH cheated in corporate workplace for many years. He moved out and filed in summer 2008.