I think that you are in the right place to get some advice. You need to look at the big picture and be able to answer the big questions. I think that if you read my post 7 years of trouble then you might get another example of how to deal. Let me know if this helps.

Engaged-1 yr.
Married-6 yrs.
Kids-4 and 6
W-3 yrs older
Young couple headed for 30.