Originally Posted by noflipping
but when the basic issues regarding your marital difficulties are not resolved, the pain returns.

I think that quote is the main issue.
Everyone experiences pain and depression around Dday anniversaries for a while, BUT when both spouses are onboard to heal and rebuild the M, it gets easier as the years go by.
I am heading into year five after my H's A. The first few years, the summers were rough (the timeframe during his A) and then Sept was the worst (Dday 9/20)
But my H was totally with me to rebuild; IC, MC, MB...
we even moved a year and half after bc SOW was still living in the nieghborhood and "stalking" us.

Summer no longer depresses me! smile

It takes time but most importantly it takes both spouses working at healing.

Why is it that your W does not want to rebuild and improve the M?

Me (RBW) 6w5 DFW (RWH) 3w2 Established 1/93 Rebuilding since 9/03