Your right, plus it wouldn't be good for the kids. I think my problem is I'm starting to check out of this marriage. I feel I am going to long doing everything for her and not getting anything met for me.

God has protected me so far. I can see why someone in my situation could very easily have an A themselves. It's a good thing I don't work around any women.

What's funny about all of this is that I really don't need to have anyone. But when you live with someone you want your R to be good. I've read how much BS do for their WS just to save the marriage and it almost makes you sick. I can't seem to make my wife go in any direction. I'm starting to believe that things won't get better, that she won't change. I'm starting to resent her. Nobody can talk to her.

It's been over 4 months since D-Day and we're no closer to recovery than when we started. MC hasn't helped. She won't do anything the C says to do. Like spending time with me.

Do they ever really realize how much pain they caused? When does recovery start? When will she start to do something for me before it's too late? I don't expect answers to those questions. I want an equal marriage. I continue to hear from her that "I'm just not in it".

I'm just getting wore down and needed to vent. I just would love to have someone to share my life with. This can't stay like this for much longer. I don't expect things to be fix over night, I just want them to go in that direction.

I know I'm just having a pity party this morning. But I'm just slap wore out about this.

but I agree CW, I will not leave my home until we get a D (not that that's where this is headed) and sell it. I will not get a girlfriend before then either.