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Here's what he suggested: stay away from marriage talk, speak with her about things that can help her be happy again. Tell her that we can find things to help her be happy again and that there are ways (and he told me to say this by quote) "there is a way for you to be in love with the father of your children again". Let her know that I am more concerned with her happiness and health right now than anything else, and truthfully, I am.


Ok, the relationship talks aren't working so cut them out for now. You don't need to take a monthly temperature. It's artificial and if you learn to truly listen to your wife and be her friend first, you will know what the temperature already is. Maybe take a break from judging so much whether or not your wife has moved ahead or backward or to the left. I think it makes it harder to listen to her when you do that because you get so busy trying to draw conclusions you don't see what's going on anymore. Right now it doesn't seem like you know her and you won't if you keep saying you won't.

Oh one last thing ... there is a big difference between preparing for the worst and expecting the worst. At work I prepare for the worst, but I *always* expect the best from my people. The managers who don't are the ones who consistently fail to get the most out of their people.