Respectful way to ask that they don't tell or talk about the pregnancy this weekend is to ask...that's respectul, I think.

Same way for asking, "Were you guys seeing each other while you were married?"

And

"Are you guys going to have friends of the opposite sex during your marriage? We figured out that was really dangerous to our marriage."

Any children from her previous marriage?

I'm looking at this with a sadden heart because they are bringing another life into the world...so standing against the marriage would be, to me, like standing against the child. However, speaking about how tough the statistics are against a successful affair marriage, sharing what you've learned would be involved in accepting, not approving of the marriage, IMO.

I'm not being flippant...I learned to do my part and let the outcome go. This is family. My tendency was conflict avoidance and that sinks all of our relationships. Blocks connection, is deceptive and has no respect.

Funny about the time line...I forget where I read that one for five rule...seemed understandable for me. I like your DD's reaction to the fast marriage. lol

I do think that how our children see us deal with what comes has the most influence...where they learn others choose their way and it doesn't mean they have to choose the same way. Trusting our instincts is important...there's an inherence reverence, I believe, for life and relationships in us as children. I think that's what you found again in yourself and your partner.

Can feel like you welcomed yourself home again. Was for me.

LA