TFC,

I don't do "shoulds" and I don't do "goods" really.

Healthy boundaries build healthy relationships...all of them. God made us to connect with others...and in doing so, we learn better how to connect with him.

God doesn't do the all or nothing, IMO. He creates us with constant choice...we choose to love, act or react, react from our feelings or act from our beliefs...we have control of our life experience...and no one elses. You know he loves your FOO families as much as he loves each of you.

You know you are all equals...and you all choose...and each day, your choices can be different.

You know he requires you to forgive even as he forgives you. So you can have a close relationship with him and healthy relationships with others.

You hold yourself to offering connection and letting the outcome go. If you hold grudges against others, you will do so against your spouse and yourself...and your children. God made us so we can't just do one way...be good to our families and trashy to those outside our inner circles. Sure can seem as if we can...we really can't.

Doesn't mean you do one thing which you will resent, either. Middle ground...not all or nothing.

LA