What does "in love" mean to you?
And, how do you feel about your husband?
I've wondered this myself. I actually was never sure I even wanted to marry, I think because I wanted to be with someone who I feel close to intellectually, not as much emotionally. I think I've had 'in love' feelings for guys who weren't right for me, like borderline alcoholics, guys who treated my horribly, etc. I guess I didn't trust my 'falling in love' feelings because they didn't lead to the right guys. I think I should have guarded my heart a bit better because I fell in love the wrong way a few times.
How do I feel about him- I think he's a wonderful man. He's kind, I respect him, I trust him. I am attracted to him (our sex life is fine). He's an honorable man. Also, when we were dating, I remember breaking down one day and feeling like if we didn't work out, I was going to be really hurt. But we did... the heart forgets those desperate feelings of wanted to keep him though. Also, at one point, I did feel prompted by God that we were going to get married.
Sometimes I think I just resent him for 'rushing' things (that's how I perceived it.) I've had to start a brand new life, and it's been a lonely and hard adjustment. A lot of growing up to do...I do get sort of tired of people being like *gasp* how could you marry someone you aren't 'in love' with? You're life is going to be a disaster.... and all doom's day about it. It's quite discouraging. Is that what Christ would tell me? I have a hard time discerning how he would judge our marriage.
Dear Jesus- is it okay if I stay married to my husband, even if I'm not 'in love' according to a very vague standard?
Honestly, I do plan to stay with my husband, and I do love him, even if I was never 'in love' whatever that means. So, thanks (sort of) for some of you're guys' advice. Even though, I found some of it very discouraging.
Yes, my husband does know how I've felt, even told me to leave if I wanted to. Which I haven't, of course.
I miss the days when people who got married stayed married no matter what. I'm not sure people were searching for the perfect romance, but rather an honorable person. It seems like now everyone splits up... even Christians, it's no different. I don't think I want to be that. Is that crazy??