Originally Posted By: lovemyabba

"I theorized that love might be nothing more than a learned association. If
someone were to be present often enough when I was feeling
particularly good, the person's presence in general might be
enough to trigger that good feeling - something we have come to
know as the feeling of love."

Ok- so I'm totally analytical about things.

I can see how I've had 'bad feeling' triggers with my husband the first year of our marriage. Like sometimes the negative feelings I get triggered with my husband are- feeling suffocated, uncertainty, feeling trapped...I can see how I've associated negative things with him. I'm trying to focus on the positive. Like- feeling comfort, familiarity, having fun with family, and mutual friends, etc.

I think I wanted to build up more history between us, and positive experiences before we married. Now- I look back on our engagement and first year and see it spotted with a lot of horrible memories. I'm making an effort to change try and change my outlook.

In times where we've reached the point of 'I'm done, I can't do this" and he's like, 'Ok fine, leave.' THEN I'm flooded with all the positive memories, and time I felt in love with him, having fun together, and all that.... and I'm like how could I give that up? It makes me cry. So I always end up changing my mind, and staying here out of my own choice, not out of sympathy for him.

But then I have so many negative memories built up again!