Hello everybody, I have decided to start a new thread. The title of the old thread is out of date.
This first post is a repost of my most recent post
It has been a while since I have written.
I could make all sorts of excusses, the long hot summer days, the fact that I have been sooooo busy at work (I haven't) and the rising cost of electricity making the computer to costly to run. ALL A LOAD OF RUBBISH, I have just been to slack!
Lil and I celebrated our 13th wedding Annv at the begining of January and we got each other nothing. This is normal, it falls so close after Christmas that we are all gifted out, we do not want to get anything else, we get gifts for each other on other days - days that have no special meaning. When I say we give each other nothing I mean nothing solid, nothing material (no I am not trying to hint at sex - we didn't partake this year). This year I gave Lil the words to a song (it's on the music thread) and she gave me an F as in FWH. It is a gift that I wish I had never needed, a gift that I am proud to have earned and a gift that I will treasure always as a reminder of how close I came to destroying my marriage and how lucky I am to have a wife who cares enough to fight to get me back and to fight to get our marriage back. I am one lucky man.
So how is it all going?
Lil and I drove past the OW house, which has been on the market for several months, she has not lived there in that time - if she had I would not have driven past it, it is on a main route so is a bit unavoidable, any way we saw that the house had sold and we were pleased that by the house being sold it would remove OW from our district, one less reason for her to come back here. It also stops that house being HER house, now it is someone elses house and that does not stop the memories but it does put some distance between the memories and the now. What I mean by memories is more of the "big picture" memories, I make a big effort to not revisit the details of what took place, that could be like an alchoholic thinking about how good it used to be to have a few drinks and then before they know it they have a drink in their hand.
So how is the recovery going? I reckon we have to be doing very well, we are making each other happy and spending time together and getting through some hard family times together and we know we can rely on each other to be there and hold each other up when the going gets hard.
We had the greatest time away the other week, camping and motorbiking and eating all the wrong food and drinking just a little more than we should, it was great. Not too long now untill the next adventure.............
It all sounds too possitive to be true dosen't it. Well there are still days when I do think about the OW, this has been fueled to some degree by a breach of NC, NOT BY ME OR LIL, a friend or aquaintance (I don't know who) of OW contacted Lil and said that OW has a new boyfriend, I thought about that a little bit for a few days and then realised that it was a good thing and it had nothing to do with me. It is a good thing because it puts me out of her mind (possibly) and that could strengthen NC and it has nothing to with me because she is in the past and it is a past that is not being preserved in a favourable way in my mind.
I wish Lil had not shared it with me but it was a breach of NC (sort of) and she had to tell me about it, that's the rules. Any way we are doing what we do best, we are moving on.
DD16 is being a real pain in the neck now, her latest comunications are just completely off the scale - the details are elsewhere on the MB forums so I will not repeat the tale - this is putting Lil and I under a lot of pressure and the good news is we are getting through it quite well together.
I did have one bad day when I completely lost my cool with DD16 and had a big ugly angry outbust at her, not the best way to handle things.
Well time is ticking on and I am getting sleepy so I am going to bed - good night.