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I don't want to see DD-15 suffer. But the temporary order says she can come back to my home anytime she wants to. She has chosen not to.... Her choice Not mine.

Send DD15 "stuff" ... not money but lots of books and inexpensive clothing and toiletries. Nothing her mother could sell.

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Amazin Offline OP
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Thanks Pep. I'm still kind of between a rock and a hard place there. I'll ask my lawyer if I can do it. The temporary orders say I can't initiate communication with her. And quite honestly I'm not sure where I would send it. Java just has a P.O. box for an address.


Well Java is still stirring up her crap...

Yesterday I was taking a nap at about 3 in the afternoon. My cell rang and it was Java's phone. I ignored it and turned my ringer off. Immediately the home phone rang...I knew it was Java again. My DD-17 answered brought the phone to me but I acted like I was hard asleep. I didn't want to talk to Java. Same thing again at 3:45. A little later I got up... DD-17 said that DD-15 called. (It was her on Java's phone) Apparently she wanted to tell me off and say how terrable of a father I am because her mom still owes me money. She left a short message calling me a F-ing coward. Java told DD-15 everything that happened yesterday. She doing everything she can to drive a wedge between DD-15 and me. Telling her all about the child support etc... Apparently since Java didn't get any child support money yesterday she can't move into the apartment like she wanted. And of course she put's her spin on it to make it all my fault.

I get so sick of her in-ability to accept any responsability for her situation. It's alway someone elses fault that she's in the situation she's in.


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What does DD17 tell DD15?

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Originally Posted by catperson
What does DD17 tell DD15?

I'm not sure...

DD-17 was upset yesterday because of the spin that Java puts on everything. And DD-15 believes every word of it. I did the best I could to tell DD-17 the truth without bad-mouthing her mom. I explained that her mom owes $18,000 in back child support. I tried to explain that DD-17 and DD-15 shouln't be put in the middle of this... that it was between me and her mother. But her mother keeps dragging them in the middle. She's using them... I think DD-17 will eventually see it for herself. It's hard for kids to understand or see it for what it really is.

Hopefully one day they'll see the truth.

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Man! It so nice to see a little justice! Congrats on the financial outcome, Amazin.

DD15 - I think is trying desperately to hang on to a mother she barely knows. And WANTS to know. She WANTS the fairy tale mother and is trying so hard to find that.

You know she won't. However, it will be a HUGE struggle for her to find that out on her own.

It will take time.

Java will be who Java is, DD15 will eventually see it.

If you can, I would send the items as Pep suggested - keep reaching out (within the law) - let DD17 know that you are willing to do this if DD15 wants.

Java and DD15 will crash, I have no doubt. But like waywards, we must step back and let it happen without us. Picking up the pieces after it happens.

DD15 WILL need you eventually. And, like a wayward, she will need to return humbled.

I have faith that it will happen, and that your relationship with DD15 will be for the better once that happens.

Might be a year yet, before Java flies the coop again to avoid CS, but she WILL leave and DD15 won't be going with her.

Hang in there, Amazin. You are doing well.

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Amazin, I have been following your story since the beggining of this thread.

You should write a book my freind

I have no good advice to give you, your already doing everything I could come up with to do. All I can do is hope the best for you.

However, there is one thing that is driving me nuts.
Originally Posted by Amazin
I've been thinking ex wife needs a nick-name... And I finnaly came up with one.... Java the Hut... From the Star Wars movies.
Originally Posted by Amazin
Java
Originally Posted by Amazin
Java
It's Jabba the Hutt, not Java.
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Jabba_Desilijic_Tiure

Java is a software platform from Sun Microsystems
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Java_(software_platform)

Java is also a type of Coffe
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Java_coffee

Sorry, I know it's a knight-Picky thing. But as a huge fan of Star-Wars, I had to make you aware of it.

Besides, calling your Ex a type of coffe or a computer program just is not insulting enough.


Me 34
WW 30
Abandoned Feb 17th 08, D-Day Aprl 27th 08.
Returned home Jul 7th, OC born 12/30/08
The FOG is clear, and we are in recovery.
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Originally Posted by Gack1
Besides, calling your Ex a type of coffe or a computer program just is not insulting enough.
rotflmao

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Call her EW. (Earthworm)

Jabba is a wormlike creature, right? stickout

I also am a Star Wars fan. WAIT WAIT!

I JUST HAD A GREAT IDEA!

CALL HER GREEDO! rotflmao


One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger

I will not spend my life this way.
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Originally Posted by karmasrose
Call her EW. (Earthworm)

Jabba is a wormlike creature, right? stickout

I also am a Star Wars fan. WAIT WAIT!

I JUST HAD A GREAT IDEA!

CALL HER GREEDO! rotflmao

How 'bout Jabba the _lut?

rotflmao

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I think you may be trying to protect your daughters unnecessarily, at your own expense. I think you need to tell DD17 the truth about the child support Ex-W didn't pay--for years, no less--and that the court determined that what you owe her now, and will owe in the future, is less than her delinquency. Surely there's a way to say that without trash-talking. It's the truth, and I think your daughters need to know it. If big Sister learns and believes the truth, I can pretty much guarantee (girls being what they are), that little Sister will hear it, too. If that makes eventual trouble for Ex-W, that's her problem.

tl

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I think you may be trying to protect your daughters unnecessarily, at your own expense. I think you need to tell DD17 the truth about the child support Ex-W didn't pay--for years, no less--and that the court determined that what you owe her now, and will owe in the future, is less than her delinquency. Surely there's a way to say that without trash-talking. It's the truth, and I think your daughters need to know it. If big Sister learns and believes the truth, I can pretty much guarantee (girls being what they are), that little Sister will hear it, too. If that makes eventual trouble for Ex-W, that's her problem.

ITA

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Amazin Offline OP
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LG... Gotcha ... Jabba... LOL

I wasn't that into Star Wars...

Quote
think you may be trying to protect your daughters unnecessarily, at your own expense. I think you need to tell DD17 the truth about the child support Ex-W didn't pay--for years


TL... I totally agree.... Yesterday I did my best to explain to DD-17 that her mom is $18,000 behind without trash talking her. And that's why I don't have to pay right now. We had a pretty long discussion about it. I just gave it to her straight.



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I just gave it to her straight.

Amazinomics: trickle-down enlightenment. Good for you!

tl

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What up, Amazin?

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Well...

I really don't like this new format for the forum. That's for sure.

Just more of the same. Ex wife and DD-15 are still stiring up crap. They didn't get a victory from the abuse accusations... and ex wife didn't get the child support she was wanting.... so they've filed another complaint with the local police... for harassment and simple assault...

I'm just tired of the crap...

I bought DD-15 some things from walmart that the other day. Underwear, bra's, socks, a couple of shirts, a pez dispenser, candy bar, soda... About $85.00 worth of stuff.

Other than that... it's the same ole same ole...


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Amazin Offline OP
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Well... I got a certified letter today.

WW has filed for divorce.

I know the title of this thread is ... "I'm Done. Plan-D" But the disapointment and the failure of my marriage still hurts.


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What happened to the harassment report?

Sorry about the filing. If she had to leave, better that it is done early.


But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams -Yeats
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My attorney seems to think it will either get thrown out or reduced to disorderly conduct. (It's about the equivelant of a traffic ticket)

The filing... She's been gone since January of last year. I wouldn't exactly say that it was done early.

I'm tired of the legal crap... one after another... They seem to want to kick me when I'm down. I want get it over with so I can move on. I feel like I'm stuck in limbo.

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Amazin,

Just wanted to let you know you are doing a great job.

Just keep up what you are doing for DD15.

Right now you have to concentrate on being the best dad you can be and keeping away from anything that would make you look bad.

You are doing well. smile

I hope others will chime in here and encourage you.

You have a tough situation, at best. Your daughters were abandoned by their mother for so long, and now she is here. They just want a good mom, they don't get it yet.

But they will if you can keep taking the high road. They will know who kept their best interest at heart, and who really cares. That will be you.

It will come back to you.

I encourage you to keep on the high road, as you have been.

Best wishes,

Love in Christ,
Miss M


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H: FWS
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Amazin Offline OP
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Thank you Miss M.

I appreciate the encouragement.

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