this is a hard area for me.

What exactly is the character of a spouse who deceived all through our marriage and then decided he deserved some happiness, a vacation from the pain of being married to me!

I didn't know that was what our marriage was for him.

Even during the height of his A, when I was feeling the most rejected and abandoned, but not knowing it was because of his A, I had an opportunity to get my EN for conversation and admiration met with a coincidental meeting of an old friend. I chose to avoid contact.

It could have been an innocent friendly visit, but because I was so needy, before I even knew the EN concepts, I knew somehow that it was dangerous and so chose not to engage.

Now, what makes me chose that and my WS chose to bring OW into our home to actively pursue her under the guise of "fathering"?

"splain" character to me!

BS -me 69 WS - him 68
Married 40 years
OW - "daughter" added to family 1/05 for "Fathering healing" - 26 years younger
EA 1/05 - 12/07 PA 8/07 - 12/07
NC 1/08
DDay March 30, 2008
Separation Feb. 17, 2010 two days before our 33 anniversary
DDs 31, 25
WH served me for divorce Sept. 18, 2014