I've come to believe this as well. Meeting EN's is important, but it takes more than that to make a intimate relationship work.

Let's go back to the beginning of mankind where Adam and Eve were in the garden. I'm confident God met all their needs and was perfect in not love busting.

Yet Adam and Eve were unfaithful to God.

So meeting EN's is only a small part of the equation. Integrity is a very large part of that equation.

Many a WS can be tempted. What they do when they face that temptation is what counts.
Originally Posted by MacNut
It's funny, I was just thinking about starting a thread like this, about the character of a WS, or rather their sense of integrity.

My thoughts are this-I've been around this board awhile, and I've learned that one of the reasons spouses go Wayward is because of unfulfilled emotional needs, whatever they may be. The other spouse fails to fulfill the soon to be wayward spouse's top ENs, someone else comes along promising to fulfill those needs and bingo, an affair is born.

Except for one catch. I see posts from other people on this board, people with ENs that have gone unfulfilled for years. Wives whose husbands barely talk to them, or show any affection or romance, husbands who are frustrated over their wives' low or non-existent desire for SF, which they may have lived with for years.

According to the MB formula, these folks should have gone Wayward some time ago. Yet, as far as one can tell from their MB posts anyway, they remain faithful. Not only that, but from what I've seen on the forum, more often than not it's the spouses refusing to provide ENs who end up going Wayward! For example, the wife who refuses to have SF with her husband goes and has an affair where SF is frequent and freely given-to the OM.

One conclusion one could come to is that the spouses who remain faithful despite their top ENs NOT being met seem to have a stronger sense of integrity, a stronger moral fibre, than the ones who go wayward. And yet Dr. Harley is reputed to say that ANYONE could become a WS under the right circumstances...

So what to make of all that? Is it that some people's character is far stronger than others, or that the frustrated spouses I've mentioned above simply haven't really faced temptation yet?