Originally Posted by Cherished
From my perspective, based on things he has said to me, the devastating part of the affair to him was the change in his own view of himself. It was painful to have put himself up on a pedastal as far as moral character is concerned and then have to face that he had an affair.

That looks like something my FWW might have said.

Can you guess what happened?

Sure it took her several years before she cheated again, but I believe that was more a question of opportunity, rather than time, and all it took was someone to show more than a passing interest.

Originally Posted by Cherished
At that point, there will be no reason for us to share a home.

Cherished, the time you're spending now in a love-less M can never be retrieved once it's gone. We are not equipped with a "reverse" option for life, to get back those years that we chose to spend in an unhappy situation. If you're waiting 8 years to D, that's 8 years that could have been spent finding and engaging in a much more fulfilling relationship, either with your H or with someone else.

(see "MiM's Story" for more details)