Originally Posted by MacNut
So what to make of all that? Is it that some people's character is far stronger than others, or that the frustrated spouses I've mentioned above simply haven't really faced temptation yet?

I was one of the frustrated spouses that you described, and I had plenty of opportunity and temptation. Yet I didn't have an A. I like to think I have integrety and that my character is strong. I also think I rank at least a point or 2 ahead of any "strong character" who had a weak "moment".

In the beginning when I still wanted to pursue marital recovery, I wanted to think that WstbxH was better than that and that he simply had a weak "moment". In his case, it simply wasn't true. A lot of my grief in my personal recovery was specifically about this - that the strong, moral character I thought my "DH" was didn't actually exist. This is my case. I'm sure others' WS's are completely different.