The more and more I think of this, the more I think it has to do with what you do WHEN you exercise bad judgment, a lack of good character or whatever you call it.

I recall a case a LONG time ago, where I was working on a software project and I deleted ALL the users home directories.

I was the system admin, I could have staged a panic of the system and claimed it was a hardware failure.

No, I went to the lead developer and told him to pass the word for folks to keep what they were working on locally, as I had to recover from last nights backups due to my bone-headed move.

Not that I'm any beacon or example of how to act in all circumstances. But I'm comfortable with admitting failures, mistakes and saying sorry when I discover I'm wrong or I learn I've hurt someone.

So I think the difference is first, do you think it's wrong, and obviously some don't or as has been said, they've so deeply buried their conscience that the ends always justify their means. Secondly, for those who do realize it's wrong, do you then stop, AND admit and apologize for hurting your spouse.

That can also be said of the BS. They too, in most cases have hurt the WS. Do they take the affair as justification to continue to hurt the WS, or do they apologize for their failures and commit to the MB program?

I think character is more about what you do when mistakes happen than it's about not making mistakes.