"Doom and gloom? You don't think that a BS who came on here would be discouraged to read from so many posters, that their WS has always been defective, will always be defective, with the implication that it's not worth the bother of recovery? (Not to mention the self-deception of those who think they are somehow innately a better person than a WS or even a FWS, simply because they haven't had an A. But I guess that's a whole nuther subject.)"

Well yes I would think a BS could get that impression from this tread. It seemed to me that you were calling me out for bringing the gloom and doom. It is my position that FWS are just people. They are imperfect and have a history of making bad decisions(at least to what is the best interest of their marriage.) They aren't necessarily evil.

I didn't have an affair to hurt my wife. I did it for my selfish reasons. And I fail to see how that position is all gloomy.

edited to add . . . I don't see much difference in our positions. Am I missing something?


Finally, my question for the intention of thread was retorical. I didn't mean to make it sound like I was questioning you personally. But I certainly see now how you read that into my words and I'm sorry for that.