Hold: NED once suggested I work on Plan A-ing the kids since obviously Plan A-ing the spouse wasn't where I wanted to go.

I did that for a while and it really made me feel good. It made the kids feel good. I need to get back to that. Soolee's other advice is great too. I doubt I'll last another (for me) 8 years but applying the advice today, will at least leave me feeling like I'm moving in a forward motion and not in limbo.