I don't believe your wife is flawed or heinous, Hold.

I think she's acted despicably, as have I. And I'm still loved. So is she.

And she stopped acting in heinous ways.

I believe we are not flawed because our very weaknesses serve us, as do our strengths...and each other. Again, nothing to an extreme...

Guess that negates my belief, eh? When we choose an extreme perspective or perception, then that's our flaw?

Not a condition...a choice.

I wonder when you'll release yourself from creating and maintaining your self-hatred...

what would that take, Hold? What would you need to think, believe or feel in order to stop doing yourself and others harm?

When I asked myself that question...I had to figure out my boundary through deductive reasoning...

Belief: Good people do not do harm.
Belief: Humans do harm.
Therefore: Good people are not human.

Wasn't really working for me...and after breaking it down, I could see why.

Belief: I was a bad person, hence, I did harm.

Least I was human.


What's yours, Hold? What's your purpose on this earth? What were you made to do?

To self-hate? To feel and act from hate? Does your self-image appear to be self-hating to others? Strangers? Acquaintances? your children? Your spouse?

What was your traumatic past which makes it difficult for you to love yourself in the way you desire?