Hold, from what you have posted, your wife is adicted to spending. It doesn't make her a bad person, but she seems to have no control, even when you have POJAd an agreement, even when you don't have the money in the budget, even when she had to commit fraud to get the cheques/credit cards. MB won't work in the presence of an adiction.

Have you talked to your son about money? He is old enough, and at the stage where he should know what finance is available for his college choices. It is also pre-emptive, if Mrs. hold is suggesting something that's just not possible, then he will have the facts at his disposal to make a decision. I am not US based, but does he have an interest in courses where he could start off at a comunity college, and then transfer to a state college, or something like that? If he needs to get scholarships or work through college, then does he need to know that now?? I have a friend who lectures, and the kids who do well are the ones who understand how much this is costing their parents, and how much an education is worth. The ones who get everything handed to them end up with a harder path through life. By absolutely no means do I mean run down Mrs. Hold. Just discuss your sons options, what's available to spend, and what isn't. Sit him down and go through the family budget. Let him know you would love to buy him everything he wants!!! But you can't.

ETA, I have to agree with OH, you have a job! You've kept it for years! You're ahead of the game here. My DH hasn't worked in 9 years, though he is very very good with the children. If he had refused to be a SAHD, I don't know what I'd have done.

Edited again, sorry! I have got the idea from reading your posts over the years that you can't get a job that would keep your wife happy. No matter how much you earn, she seems to be able to waaay outspend it. This is JMO, and doesn't make her a bad person. Though it does make her mentaly ill.