MrsW with all due respect to you and others I am NOT TRying to justify my actions,truely I am not. We have a little child that was planned and I begged and begged for and we both have children from exs and we both have a child from earlier relationships were there was no marriage. We have this little girl that I want to show what true love is and to grow up with both her parents, our other children did nt get that chance. I was NEVER in love with my ex but my parents pushed me to marry her since I already had a child out of wedlock. Again our other children didnt get the chance to have both parents in their life into adulthood. I feel so strongly that that is the problem with so many children in todays society. I want our child to have this chance if you call that selfish then so be it. I know the other children have paid the price for their parents actions and there is nothing we can do about it now,but to learn and move on and show them what we have learned and to show them what rasing a child should be like with loving parents.