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Hopefully the school knows the family situation. Kids act out during stressful times. They want some control of their lives.

I would let the child have the friend over and yet still tell them to behave at school so that they can 'get the most out of it'.

7 is young. Very young. They need to be nurtured and spoken to with respect about respect.

YK?







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So.....I didn't have to worry about that anyways. The 2 boys who were coming over, had to go to their grandparent's house so I just told DS7 that we would try again for Monday. That problem solved, we then moved on to WH.

My one friend suggested that I take the boys out for dinner. So that's exactly what I did, we went to a Chinese buffet close to our house. Problem I didn't think about was where the restaurant was....right on WH's way to my house. Well, we left our house and went to the restaurant. We were walking because we don't have a vehicle. Hence the real issue with the placement of the restaurant. Well, WH called, and called and called. He even text messaged me. BIL told me that SIL informed him LAST WEEK that WH would be bringing the kids with him to the party. UMMMM NO. So we finished our dinner(the kids filled up on chicken balls, orange slices and JELLO), then just as we thought the cost was clear and we could walk home(right down the same street WH would have to drive down) WH texted me saying, "Where can I pick up the boys?"

I strategically got the boys out of the restaurant, down a side street and we went to my BIL's house. My BIL and his GF asked if I called. I said nope. WH called them because he was looking for us. Oh well. BIL and his GF took us to the mall and the boys had a fun time joking and playing with their uncle. I even let them buy a video game with their allowance.

The wrath of WH will come tomorrow but I won't be around to hear it. I don't know what he is going to do with the kids when they don't have any of the things he needs for them to sleep over. Oh well, one hurdle at a time.

For a joke, here is the 3 fortunes that DSx2 and I got today. DS7 got "You express yourself with charm and humour."
DS9 got "You have a basic need for solitude some of the time."
and I got, "You tune in intuitively to people and situations immediately and intensely."


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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I have a "funny feeling" that I am going to be served with court papers this morning. 10 more mins and I will let you all know. WH called and told the kids to have their stuff ready for the sleepover. DS9 didn't want to tell him that they weren't sleeping over. So our plan is that they go out with nothing and DS9(on his own) came up with that he will say, "We come home at 630." when asked where his stuff is. Then when asked why he wants to say, "Because we don't want to sleep over."


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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Well I was wrong about the papers but not about his "venom". WH came to pick up the boys and it went as they planned but WH sent DS7 back in and said, "Daddy said we HAVE to sleep over." I said, "No you don't." Then he said, "But Daddy is taking us to a carnival tomorrow." and I said, "Daddy can pick you up in the morning." and then I closed and locked the door.

I went in to the bathroom, closed the door and waited. The POUNDING on the front door began and then the phone started ringing. It lasted 10 minutes. What was I doing, putting nail polish on my fingers. I may have to fix it I was a bit shaky. Now I am headed off to work.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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It's not over.
He might keep them over night anyway.

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I must have missed it. What's the big deal about this weekend? Is it not his, and he's trying to get an extra? What makes this a hill to die on?

tl

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She doesn't want them to have overnights with her WH and his skankyho. Her WH lives with the skank.


"Your actions are so loud that I can't hear a word you're saying!"

BW M 44 yrs to still-foggy but now-faithful WH. What/how I post=my biz. Report any perceived violations to the Mods.
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LC- YOU ARE CORRECT.

Our agreement prior to Plan B(when he talked about his leaving me to move in with POSOW) was that he would watch the kids when I had to go to work. He would watch them every sunday and every other saturday. I changed my shifts in anticipation of Plan B(I used to work 7-330 now I work 10-530) so the kids wouldn't have to wake up early to go with WH. WH is ANGRY because he wants to come and watch the kids in the house while I went to work. Of course that is not okay with me. So now he said that he wanted to keep the kids overnight "because it costs too much money in gas" to come here both Saturdays and Sundays. Had he said that he wanted more time with them, than I may have thought about it. Besides I asked the kids and they said that they don't want to sleep over there.

There is no legal agreement either way. I haven't gone to court yet because the courts would award my WH every other weekend from 6pm Friday until 6pm Sunday and I would have to make the kids go whether they wanted to or not. I am making WH go to court to get that if that's what he wishes to do.

Pepperband- I am prepared that he may keep the kids overnight, but I KNOW that it wouldn't be a pleasant night for him at all since DS7 didn't take his doll, pillow or blanket and he is not nice without those.

Let's see what happens now.

Last edited by Scotland; 02/06/10 06:58 PM.

BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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WOW. So it hit 7pm and I thought, "He is keeping them overnight."

Then the door to the porch opened and I knew they were home. We are watching a movie tonight, Spongebob Squarepants. I was popping popcorn and I asked DS9 what happened today. He said, "You know Daddy was trying to call you for 10 minutes right?" I said, "Yea, I was in the bathroom." He said, "that whole time?" I just nodded. Then he said, "did you hear Daddy yelling?" I said, "No I couldn't hear him." He said, "well Daddy was saying that he wanted our snowpants and if you didn't give him them he would just buy us some more and waste the money."

Then he said, "Daddy's plan was he was going to keep us anyways." I said, "OH? What changed his mind?" He smiled and said, "ME." I asked what he meat by that and he said that he started crying while they were driving away. WH asked DS9 why he was crying. DS9 told him, "It's because we don't want to sleep over at your house."

Then DS9 told me that they went to a shoe store with POSOW and her daughter in our city. I said, "Oh was this before you went to her house?" and he said, "Yes they were here to pick us up."

So now POSOW saw WH acting like a FOOL. Well, good on them.

WH is taking them to a french winter carnival tomorrow. Guess who's french? Did you guess OW? cuz you'd be CORRECT. Carnivals were always said to be such a waste of money to WH. Another pretend him thing he is doing. They are going as one big happy family again tomorrow. Guess POSOW has the day off. Oh well, I have to go watch the movie now. laugh


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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Quote
"well Daddy was saying that he wanted our snowpants and if you didn't give him them he would just buy us some more and waste the money."

If you end up divorced, Daddy will need to buy a complete second wardrobe for the boys to keep wherever he ends up living. He might as well get used to that.
Never allow your boys to pack extra clothes, take their toys, etc. It's all up to Disneyland MrRollieEyes Daddy to provide.

Remember this one:

"Daddy will take care of all your needs while you are in his care."

Too-effin-boo-hoo-bad crybaby


Remember .... WH gets ZERO of HIS needs (financial security) met by you in plan B.

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such a waste of money

naughty ummmmmm you mean like the $$$ that is going to be wasted going to some French Winter shin-dig?
It ain't free.

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Daddy was saying that he wanted our snowpants

"Sweetheart, Daddy knows where he can buy you snowpants, if you need them while Daddy has you in his care."

This goes for all their stuff.

2 separate households.

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OKAY, that is something I never thought of in that way because he is still depositing his whole pay cheque in the account. He only takes out what he needs for food and gas. I financially can't do it alone for about 2 more months, and I thought it would be better to continue it this way until then. Don't worry I will still have him pay child support, but until I can get the government "bonus" adjusted(have to wait until he has been out of the house for 3 months first) then I need the extra money.

There are certain things like mortgage, and insurance that come out automatically. His credit card payment used to come out automatically too, I set that up, so I unset it. I will have mortgage, house insurance and all of the household bills come out of my separate account.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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I know you will decide what is best for you in your situation.
I only make suggestions, or give my 2 cents from the peanut gallery.
You're doing great.
Affair-land is not as pretty as you think it might be, believe it or not.
Many former waywards later report what torment they felt while their BS was in plan B.

Hang in there Scotty.
hug


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Originally Posted by Scotland
I went in to the bathroom, closed the door and waited. The POUNDING on the front door began and then the phone started ringing. It lasted 10 minutes. What was I doing, putting nail polish on my fingers.


SHEER GENIUS!!!!! flirt

I TRUE GODDESS always take care of herself, even in the face of adversary......Did you have your tiara on as well???.... wink ....at least the imaginary one???..cuz if not Miss Pep might have to swing out there and give you a piece of her mind...... flirt


All kidding aside, Scotty, you are doing so FABULOUS at this Plan B stuff. REALLY. I haven't seen this anyone handle this part nearly as well as you.....BRAVO.....

And your boys?????....what BRAVE, AMAZING, and TRULY manly little men you are have there.....I LOVE LOVE LOVE how they snookered WDad into bringing them back home...... clap

You are handling EVERY THING GREAT!!!!!

But then again, I didn't have my doubts.....

How is your dad doing???

{{{{{Scotty}}}}}}}

not2fun

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Once again, I'm in awe. Textbook picture perfect!!!!!

And what a rofl that your stunningly brilliant son got himself back home so efficiently. He sure rained on the Happy O-Family Parade.......


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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Well, this morning I was a PERFECT PICTURE of self-restraint. I looked out the window to see if they were gone yet because I had to leave to be at work on time(DS7 took so long getting ready that WH called twice, he is IMPATIENT). What did I see? POSOW in the front seat of WH's truck. Oh I was MAD. There was no reason that she had to be here. They were going to that winter carnival in the same city where she lives. It is 30 minutes away. I started screaming things at the window. Of course noone could hear me but I was ANGRY. I had visions of what I would do to her if I just went outside. Well, since I am NOT in jail and I went to work today(albeit angry angry angry and when you work on the customer service counter of a major retailer not always a good thing), I didn't go out.

DS9 had said that he doesn't like that she is in the car when WH comes to pick them up, so I told him that he needs to tell WH. He is afarid that WH will get mad.

She was in the car when he dropped them off too. This is driving me NUTTY. I don't know how much SELF-RESTRAINT I can muster. OKAY OKAY j/k. I will not go outside I will not go outside. I think it is funny because WH lingered for a couple of minutes on the porch before he went back to the car. He knew I was standing behind the door because DS7 said, "Hi MAMA." He couldn't see me though.

OH BOOGERS. This is difficult but the anger is good for me. It makes me stronger and helps me heal. It also made the day at work go faster. That was a bonus.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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Don't look out while they're there, even if you're a couple minutes late to work. You can't keep hemorrhaging like that over the long term.

I would bet dollars to donuts (and I really, really like donuts!) that it wasn't WH's idea to have her there. It seems to be pretty common that most WS's anyway, don't like to have their worlds collide. Meaning they try to keep their OW life and memories extremely separate from their wife life and memories. When the two worlds intersect, or even come close to brushing, it all but unhinges many WS.

Maybe the reason is because they've spent all that time and effort building a separation in their mind, and when reality causes the two to slop together even a little, their mental circuits overload.

Two quick examples from AJ: 1) When he took OW to our favorite family restaurant, he said he had a very hard time because memories of me kept intruding, and 2) whenever I went to his work or anywhere she and I were or might be around each other, he totally flipped out, even before I knew of the A, and more so after.

So.......OW does not want your WH to come to the house by himself.

This is NOT about wanting to spend time with him, or how she can't bear to be without him.

She doesn't trust him with you, plain and simple. And with very good reason.



A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
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I agree about not looking out at all. It emotionally threw me for a spin and wasn't worth it but the anger did make me feel slightly empowered.

As far as why she was in the car, I thought the exact same thing.

Oh well, outta sight outta mind.



BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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Originally Posted by not2fun
How is your dad doing??

I only get updates on him from My MOM. Now isn't that funny. He has been busy working. It has been about a week since he called me so I should be getting a check up call soon. He is adorable when he calls me because he wants to make sure I don't need anything, and that I haven't done anything stupid.

As far as him and my Mom, that is a messed up sitch that I couldn't even imagine being in, but my BIL and SIL take the cake.

BIL and new GF were going to go to the party SIL and AP were having for their 2 year old son. SHAKE YOUR HEAD> any rocks in there?


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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