Brace yourself.

What I would advise you to do in the emotionally traumatic few weeks of post-exposure you are about to endure, is to start a thread asking others what their WW's said and did immediately after exposure. That way your mind can better compartmentalize and rationalize what she is saying. It won't hurt you as much when she says the things she is going to say when you already know she is following the exact same script as all other WWs. That way you know it is the ADDICTION causing her to say these things, and it's not you. You need to understand, all that she says has NOTHING to do with you and your marriage and has everything to do with an ADDICTION. Try to do things for yourself and lean on some buddies during this time because she is going to do everything she can to hurt you. Don't let her. Breathe deep, relax, and don't let her suck you in to any arguments or relationship talks.

Also, when you said "the wife" will be notified, did you mean OMW or your WW? OMW is a still a key exposure target that will help keep OM from breaking a cease and desist order.