You said
I feel like I want to hold her and tell her it'll all be ok. But I guess that just makes me a sucker.
Yeah it does. But you the kind of "sucker" that deserves to be married to a good woman. Your the kind of "sucker" that "gets" what marriage is all about. In short, if being in love with your spouse is being a "sucker", the all of us would do well to be "suckers". I'm proud of you for feeling the way you do.

BUT, what really makes me proud of you, is that you have:

1. Stood up for your marriage.
2. You have informed her CoC and OM�s CoC about the affair.
3. You have acted with compassion and with resolution to protect your marriage.
4. You have not backed down from doing the hard stuff like exposing.
5. You have been willing to face her wrath when the consequences of HER actions hit.

Gerka, you have done a lot of things that you should be proud of.

As for her issues when she loses her career, IF that actually happens. They are her consequences and whether you decide you want to continue in this marriage (I think you will get that choice by the way) or you decide to leave it, she will remember for the rest of her life what happens when she allowed her poor choices to tarnish her honor.

If there is any group of people that should and most often do understand honor, commitment, and integrity it those of you in the military. Frankly neither she or OM should be in the military until and unless they see how dishonorable their actions have been.

Hang in there Gerka, you are doing very well.

God Bless,