Originally Posted by helpthelostdads
I'm sorry to be the Debbie Downer of this thread, but everything Gerk has posted about his marriage and his wife indicates that this is a woman that has big issues that aren't going to change once NC is established.

If OM disappears forever, you're still left with a woman that has massive, unresolved psych issues, huge self esteem problems, a craving for male attention, immaturity, unrealistic expectations of marriage, a broken career, and then the sloppy seconds of another man.

Women that needy have massive issues.

This is out of line and contrary to what is trying to be accomplished, here. First of all, if/when Gerka succeeds in bringing his wife back to the marriage, they will need to do the work of recovering the marriage. No marriage = no wife with 'childhood issues' to resolve.

If, indeed, this woman has been damaged from childhood abuse, needs a man in her life, and anything else you threw into the 'damaged psyche' pot, it needs to be explored as a separate issue from the marriage. And the chance is very, very good that, once they have begun inititating MB principles to restore their M, many of these supposed issues will resolve themselves or diminish to a point of manageability.

Your post is akin to saying that adult survivors of abuse will become abusers themselves. As an adult survivor, I can tell you that this is a huge, HUGE over-generalization and is distracting, disengenuous, and dangerous.

D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!