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And, all you guys who are doubting, that's right from the horse's mouth. wink

It was when my H said not long after d-day "I'm a man, never forget that, and you're my woman" I went all weak at the knees.

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Thank you for your service and my prayers are with you gerk


Me 56 Former BS
Widowed 5-17-09 --married 25 years.
4 children
DS-35 previous marriage--18-22 DGrandSons 6 and 4
Me former BS
DD-29 with DGDs 5 and 1yr
DSs 26 and 23
Teilhard de Chardin..We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. ...Sounds about right to me.
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As expected, no response. It poured rain here today, which caused some of the afghan roses to bloom. I took some pretty good pictures. So in my next email to her, I can "send her some flowers." wink

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Hey Gurka,

That sounds like a great idea... You must have gotten the rain that we had a day or so ago. We've still got standing water in some spots.

Semper Fi,

RIF

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I haven't been carrying my cell phone with me for some time. I got a call at 0930 from a Fort Polk number. the area code and the first 3 digits of the number are the same as the OM. Seems likely this is the OM's wife. But how would she get my Afghan cell phone number? Only my WW has it.... Weird. Should I call it back tomorrow at 0930?

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Originally Posted by Gerkaguards
I haven't been carrying my cell phone with me for some time. I got a call at 0930 from a Fort Polk number. the area code and the first 3 digits of the number are the same as the OM. Seems likely this is the OM's wife. But how would she get my Afghan cell phone number? Only my WW has it.... Weird. Should I call it back tomorrow at 0930?

Sure. Find out what's going on.


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

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It could also be a member of the investigation team.

Call the number back.

If it is the OMW, then you know. If its someone else? Then you will know.

LG

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There's no investigation at Fort Polk. Besides it's an AT&T cell phone number, I know that much. And very similar to OM's phone number. I tried looking it up but Intelius is acting all messed up right now. Only lets me choose between paying by credit card over phone or by personal check, wtf?

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I got a call at 0930 from a Fort Polk number. the area code and the first 3 digits of the number are the same as the OM. Seems likely this is the OM's wife.


Hey Gurka - I thought the OM and his W were at Ft. Sill... Why would OMW be calling from a 337 area code?

Do you think it might be from your Bn Cdr?

I agree with the others, call back and see who you get!

Semper Fi,

RIF

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Their cell phones are 337

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Ok... I'd give the number a call. It's just 1052hs there now.

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They're trying to send us all home in 10 days. I'm the only guy in my unit fighting to stay in Afghanistan. hah.

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I'll call it tomorrow morning around the same time they called me.

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I wasn't planning on telling WW that I have the opportunity to come back to the states in 10 days. I feel like at this point she just wants me to come back so she can push ahead with the divorce. Though I feel like this conflicts with "honesty and openness."

Last edited by Gerkaguards; 05/04/10 10:09 AM.
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I would probably suggest going home. Sure, you may be able to get divorced quicker, but you'd also be able to plan A better from the same continent. Your WW is either going to divorce you or she's not going to divorce you, postinging things by staying in that God forsaken land is not going to benefit you any. Besides, the worst time after exposure and withdrawal is the first two weeks. You've already missed that. If you can come home in 10 days, I would tell her you are coming home, you are going to Fort Huachuca (sp?), and it's up to her as to whether or not she wants to see you, but you'll be there. It's the first thing you are doing when you get home. I know it would suck to go to the middle of nowhere and have her not see you, but you've got to put yourself out there if you want to reengage her.


Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story
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Though I feel like this conflicts with "honesty and openness.


So are they ORDERING you to go home?

I don't think that you'd be dishonest by not telling her about the early re-deployment... now if she asked you directly, then I wouldn't lie to her.

I agree, staying over here might be a better COA for now in order to give more time for her to withdraw from the OM and not give her the opportunity to rush the divorce...

Is your CoC supporting you staying in theater longer?

Semper Fi,

RIF

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Well the thing is, I have my actual (rating) CoC that's back in the states. Obviously they want me back, because I'm not doing anything for them over here. Then I have my opcon CoC, that desperately wants me to stay because they would be hosed without me, and have no replacement on the horizon. So they're duking it out. My opcon chain of command has a lot more GOs pulling for them, so we'll see what happens. I should know in the next day or so if I get to stay.

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Originally Posted by Gerkaguards
I wasn't planning on telling WW that I have the opportunity to come back to the states in 10 days. I feel like at this point she just wants me to come back so she can push ahead with the divorce. Though I feel like this conflicts with "honesty and openness."

Have you considered going home to fight for your M?


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

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WW says she won't see me alone. She doesn't respond to my emails. She's furious right now. Plus the investigations are still ongoing.

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Originally Posted by Gerkaguards
WW says she won't see me alone. She doesn't respond to my emails. She's furious right now. Plus the investigations are still ongoing.

WWs say a lot of things that aren't true. At some point you are going to have to try to see her in person and reengage her in the relationship. Sure, while the investigation is ongoing or in the week or two after the investigation is over might not be the best time, but the longer you go without seeing her, the further she can withdraw from you. You need to get her from withdrawal back to conflict. Something has to spark that movement, and it's likely a visit. You can't make her see you, but you can make yourself available to be seen. I'm not saying now is the time, but once she is most of the way through withdrawal of the OM (about 2 months), you would like her to attach herself back to you instead of some other man. She will be very vulnerable by herself in another month or two, and if you aren't somewhat back in the picture by then, she'll likely find another boyfriend to start meeting her needs. It will likely be with someone who is actually single, she'll tell them that "she's in the process of getting a divorce," and she will be more careful about getting caught.

I'm just saying I wouldn't actively postpone going home for too long.


Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story
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