My friends seem to think that by sending these little positive emails that my wife will just get angrier and angrier and feel like I'm ignoring "the issues." And that she won't "miss me" if I stay in contact.

Ask them which issues are you ignoring? The ones where she says she wants you to sign the D papers? Or the ones where she says she'll never talk to you again?

How can you do anything else BUT ignore those?

The money in the account is another matter though. That is an issue you shouldn't ignore.