There is a difference between lying and storytelling. Do you think a comedian is a liar for setting up some jokes that didn't REALLY happen to him, or is he just trying to tell a funny story. Besides, those MB policies aren't always meant to be followed in the case of a WW. For instance, if I am tracking my WW on GPS to keep her from sneaking out and meeting OM, and I bust her everytime she does, am I obligated to tell her how I know if she asks, so she can just pull the GPS device out of the hiding spot in the trunk and throw it away? Of course not. And good luck practicing the POJA with a WS.

I agree with RIF about the flowers part. Taken out the "husband" and "wife" and replace it with "I" and "you" and you've got yourself a winner. However, if I'm being honest, I think the rest of it needs a little work. Remember, this woman is COMPLETELY detached from you right now. Telling her you met some Dutch and Aussies is just going to make her think, "BFD, do I care? Thanks for sharing, ugh." She's going to tune out the rest of the email. Nope, nothing special. Captivate your audience. Make it interesting. That's one of the reasons I told you to only email twice a week. It will give you some time to come up with some new material. Tell her about the zap you got, but spice up the story a bit. Make it funny. Tell her it looked like the time that one guy got tasered. Make it interesting. Exaggerate a bit. Remember, the goal is to meet her need for conversation. Give her a reason to want to converse with you again.

Personally, I'm a non-stop comedian. That is one of the ways I engaged my WW again. I would tell her something so funny, she would start laughing, then she would quickly go back to her dour face. "Whoops, I'm still supposed to be mad at him," is what she was thinking. Well, the more I did that, the more she would engage and forget about being mad at me. I just tried keeping it light and fun. You should do the same. Be creative. Think of things to write about. Pretend you are a writer for Seinfeld, and try and find the humor in little day-to-day things. Carefully prepare and tweak your emails several days in advance. Run it by us or some friends in the military. Solicit them for some funny stories as well. Pass along their funny stories to her in the context of, "I was talking to so-and-so today, and he told me that one time..." Be creative. Pique her interest.

I knew my WW was intersted in celebrity gossip and reality shows and all that US Weekly, In Touch, Real World, Bachelor stuff, so I would use that to break the ice and base some of my material off of. What is your WW intersted in that might get her intersted in talking? What are her interests, hobbies, etc.?