Agreed.

Your actions are speaking louder than anything you could say to her right now.

You keep showing yourself to be attractive by keeping your emails upbeat, making monthly payments and reaching out to her family.

Nothing drives a woman crazier than a man of few words, but strong actions. I guarantee you that you and your actions are being dissected over and over again in W's head...as well as w/ her mother and sister.

The quieter you stay w/ regards to what you expect/hope from your relationship the more she will wonder what is going on in your head.

The truth is, you aren't sure your W is capable of accepting responsibilty for the harm she's done to you and your M. And if she isn't capable of it, then you don't want to be married to her.

It would be best to wait to discuss your relationship after she has expressed at least a tiny bit of humility.