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I'm not depressed, I'm fine, really.


Hey Gurka,

I know how you feel... been there done that after a bad one, and you're right, you've got to get back in the saddle and keep moving forward!

Which is what you need to do with your Plan-A. Get right back in the saddle and keep engaging your WW.

We told you many times not to expect any major changes or shifts after the A ends... and it appears that things are going forward. It's not happening at the pace that you'd like, but it IS moving forward.

Don't worry that it's been a couple of days since she e-mailed you. That may be partly because of the "relationship" e-mails that you sent, but give her a few days and she will most likely start thinking of some other nasty things to say to you and you'll get another spat of e-mails... This time, don't waste any efforts in trying to "educate her" or "tell her like it is"... Babble back to her or just ignor her e-mails all together.

You're doing great. This isn't easy stuff, and after dealing with what happened today, this "affair" stuff is pretty mild.

Again, talk with your buddies... don't let this stuff build up inside you.

Semper Fi,

RIF


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I will say that if she doesn't contact you with condolences for the loss of your fellow soldiers and to see how you are doing, aside from your marriage, that she isn't worth spit. This goes to the core of what kind of person she really is. If she can't venture out of her own selfish world, I say you would be far better off without her. I think you would be much better off finding someone who has some depth of character. I know that this might hurt you by saying it, but that's my opinion.

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I'll send her an email before I head out tomorrow morning, just telling her about my day. I can't post it here for a variety of reasons, but there's no relationship talk in it.

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DVDs were delivered around 2pm her time. Just sent out my email. About to head out for the day.

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6:10 between posts. You need more sleep.


Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story
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Good Morning Gurka - Stay safe out there today!

Semper Fi,

RIF

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Yeah, I didn't get much sleep last night. Just killing some time, waiting to go back to base... I guess I'll check my email...

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Looks like no response from WW. I sent the email around 7pm her time.

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Hey Gurka,

She'll write you back... just give her some time.

Glad you're having a safe trip outside the wire today! Please let us know when you get back.

Semper Fi,

RIF

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I'm back. What a long, boring day. I'm exhausted. Still nothing back from WW.

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Originally Posted by Gerkaguards
I'm back. What a long, boring day. I'm exhausted. Still nothing back from WW.

Don't sweat it. We're just glad you made it back safely. Just stick with the plan. I'm sure she'll talk with you again soon.


Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story
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Hey Gurka - Thanks for checking in and glad made it back safely!

I wouldn't worry about an e-mail from your W... she'll contact you.

I just got the first season of "The Pacific" at the Haji shop today.... man, what a great mini-series!

Semper Fi,

RIF

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I just grabbed The Simpsons Season 21 from our little library of DVDs. It has 4 DVDs, with 1 episode each. What a rip.

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Yeah, I'm finding out that this set has 4 DVD's with one episode on each disk.

Oh well, AFN doen't carry HBO, so this is better than nothing!

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I watched all ten. It is a good series. Not as good as Band of Brothers, but good.

The second half of the series is really good.

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Please let me know it you need more DVD's. I have tons.

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The set I bought was supposed to have the entire "1st season"... Think I'll go back and ask where the missing DVDs are tomorrow!

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It looks like even if I go back in August, she will have a very difficult time having me served, since local law enforcement have no authority on Fort Polk, and process servers are simply not allowed on post. Even if she is able to serve me, the SCRA protects me from default judgments as long as I'm on active duty. I can request an automatically granted 90 day stay, and from then on request a stay up to the date that I leave active duty. If nothing else it'll at least stall things until she finishes school and goes to her first duty station (hopefully Fort Polk.)

That seems a somewhat more attractive option than staying here another 6 months, where even if she wanted to work on reconciling, I'd be unable to be with her.

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You are at least six months away from saving your marriage, so try not to get caught up in the day to day stuff of her not contacting you for a few days or her laying into you when she contact you. You'll have your chance to work on things once her anger subsides, and by the time you get home, it will have. Just stay focuses on getting home and doing the best plan A you can in the meantime.

Trust me, if you do eventually divorce, it will because YOU have decided that SHE isn't worth it, and that you are ready to move on. You hold the cards. I bet even if she showed no inclination on working on the marriage after several months of plan A, if you went to plan B/D with her, she would start poking around (he who cares the least in a relationship, holds all the power, and she will notice that power shift and react accordingly).

My WW talked about divorcing me for MONTHS, but the day I had an appointment set up to file for D myself is the day she agreed to NC.

Last edited by jmwc95; 05/19/10 12:35 PM.

Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story
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Posts: 580
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Before I stumbled onto marriage builders, I actually started a "plan b." She had already given me false hope a couple of times, and I was just dying, and angry, and I couldn't take it, so I told her I needed a month break from communicating with her. She made it 4 days before contacting me saying, "I don't think it's a good idea to just not talk. I need to know that at least you're ok without having to check your facebook page."

But of course, that was back before I "ruined everything."

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