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I'm not replying to any of this.


Good for you Gurka! You're right, you shouldn' reply at all to these e-mails... the don' make any sense, and you know what happens when you try to "educate" her!

Let things cool down a bitmore and I suspect that you'll get some more E-mails from her... Remeber, her mind is still very conflicted over her past actions and she is trying to rationalize them by making YOU out to be he "bad" guy for all of her troubles.

Don't get sucked into her game... YOU are the one that is fighting for the M, because for now, she's not able to.

I think the fact that she e-mailed you is a very positive step! Especially when she's alluding to the MB "cult" rotflmao She knows enough to mention this fact which tells me that she's trying to rationalize her actions plus "proove" that the MB pinciples don't work... you know, because HER A with LT-OM was "different", and it was "special"...

Regardless of how all of this turns out, I can assure you that your WW will know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that her A with LT-OM was NOT special and it was no different than any other A. In fact, she will most likely realize that LT-OM was just using her and that will be hard for her to take... That's why you need to keep up the best Plan-A that you can, so when she finally gets to this point, you'll be there for her.

Semper Fi,

RIF

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I'm going to try to write a "chatty" email today or tomorrow, it's about time for one.

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See, she couldn't go too long. I have noticed a change in the tone of the emails as well. The previous ones she sent you were always angry about what you did to her. These ones are more snide and sarcastic. I think her anger might be subsiding a little. Keep up the good work.


Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
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Like I said, I'm pretty sure she'd been drinking when she sent those, and probably expected an immediate response after the first one. Normally I'd be awake at the time she sent them, but I slept in today. When she didn't get a response she sent another.

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Originally Posted by Gerkaguards
Like I said, I'm pretty sure she'd been drinking when she sent those, and probably expected an immediate response after the first one. Normally I'd be awake at the time she sent them, but I slept in today. When she didn't get a response she sent another.

Well, it shows you she still wants contact.


Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story
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Here's my email to her (haven't sent it yet):

So things are slowly getting back to normal here at Camp XXXXXX. They finished cleaning the DFAC and reopened it yesterday. The threat level is still really high around Kabul, and in our area in particular. Every day lately it's a handful of new things to watch out for.

I slept in until about noon today, rolled out of bed and went to lunch. The only kind of decent entree they had was hamburgers, and their burgers aren't even good, so that was disappointing. But then had to go to work for a meeting with a bunch of big-wigs that came in from all over the country (thanks for doing it on Friday guys...) I ended up getting so many communications issues piled onto me that I'll be busy dealing with them for at least a week. It's nice to know that I'll be able to help them all though, and clear up some of their problems. Then I got fixated trying to troubleshoot this weird email\network problem and didn't pull away until about 1800. Of course, I didn't realize I was going to be there so late, so around 1600 I took some NO Xplode, anticipating going to the gym soon. Instead I was just all wired and pumped up trying to work on someone's Microsoft Outlook client, lol. So by the time I got back it was dinner time. The steak and lobster was the best it's been in weeks, and I ate a couple of steaks and 4 lobster tails. Then I came back and let everything digest for a couple hours while I laid around and watched the Simpsons on my laptop. I finally went to the gym at 2100 and did sprints on the treadmill where I set the speed interval at 7.0 and 10.5, and then sprint for a minute, run for 2 minutes. I did that for 20 minutes. I'm sure I won't be able to get to sleep tonight since I worked out so late. I have a bunch of laundry to fold and put away though, so hopefully I can be productive in my insomnia.

I see you got the book I sent. I bought a copy too and I'm waiting for it to get here. Did you get the UPS package on the 18th? It says it was delivered to your front door. I hope you're doing ok. I'll call you between 2100 and 2200 your time on the 25th. Have a good weekend! smile

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Hey Gurka - Your E-mail looks great... You might want to ask her how her dad is doing... don't say anything about not hearing from your MIL, just ask how her dad is doing.

Semper Fi,

RIF

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Sent it out before I saw your comment RIF. Also got some pictures of our dog from my parents this morning, so I went ahead and forwarded those on to her with the message, "Here's some pictures of our baby. He looks happy and healthy."

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Morning Gurka!

No problem... you could just send her a quick follow up e-mail and say something like "Oh, I forgot to ask about your Dad, what's the latest word?"

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Nothing back from WW today. I'm watching "Brothers" on DVD now, it's started off strong so far.

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Hey Gurka - I wouldn't worry about her not writing... she'll contact you after she's stewed a bit more.

I'm going to try and get to bed a little earlier... have a good evening and I'll catch you tomorrow morning.


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I hope she's reading the book. I'll write her again on Monday. This "Brothers" movie is breakin' my heart. It really hits home.

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I'm feeling really anxious and lonely. And realizing that there's no place that feels more like home anymore than where I am right now. :-\

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hug Jeff!

I am so sorry that you are lonely and down and so far away from home. I think often of you and RIF and the lifestyle that is required by those of you that serve our country and keep watch for us. I pray that your WW wakes up and realizes the gem that she has in you before it is too late. You have handled yourself like a gentleman and will never have anything to be ashamed of no matter what happens.

Please take care of yourself and know that although few may post to you, many are following along and rooting for you.

God's Blessings,

Say


Me, BW-57
FWH 54
4 kids and 4 grandbabies between us
In recovery since D-day, May 28,2007
FWH never onboard the MB boat but still clinging to the side.
One day at a time by God's grace.
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Originally Posted by saynomore
hug Jeff!

I am so sorry that you are lonely and down and so far away from home. I think often of you and RIF and the lifestyle that is required by those of you that serve our country and keep watch for us. I pray that your WW wakes up and realizes the gem that she has in you before it is too late. You have handled yourself like a gentleman and will never have anything to be ashamed of no matter what happens.

Please take care of yourself and know that although few may post to you, many are following along and rooting for you.

God's Blessings,

Say

ITA X2

LG

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And realizing that there's no place that feels more like home anymore than where I am right now.


Morning Gurka!

I know exactly how you feel... There's a special bond that you get from working over here. It doesn't replace your family, but your co-workers and your "environment" do become like a family when you're deployed.

I think it has more to do with experiencing "shared hardships & danger" than any loss of love or feelings for your family or friends back home. It's important to stay connected with you loved ones back home and when you go for several days w/o any contact, it can get very lonely.

Try not to dwell on these feelings of loneliness... acknowledge them, then seek out your "deployment" family and friends and connect with them until you hear from your family back home.

You wife WILL contact you again. Weekends are always busy and it's easy for our families to get 'caught up' in other activities and it can leave us feelin "left out" and "forgotten". I can assure you that your W hasn't forgtten you!

Hope you have a great Sunday morning... I'm off to the office for another Groundhog Day!

Semper Fi,

RIF

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We're doing training for an attack on the office today. To mess with the new SGM, we laid a matress outside a second floor window, on a balcony that you can't see from inside. When he started the "simulation" by yelling "Explosion" on the bullhorn, the S2 screamed "Everybody out the windows" and made a running leap out the window. The look on the SGM's face was priceless. He couldn't help but start laughing a minute later when the S2 stood up outside the window.

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The look on the SGM's face was priceless.


Hee hee.... Gotta keep those old guys on their toes! ...hey wait a minute, I'm one of those "old guys" now!

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That's funny! I also know what you mean about feeling at 'home' while on deployment. I miss that closeness and trust in my life right now, but I still talk with several of my battle buddies.

By the way, I was based out of Phoenix last year. I've been following your thread but RIF and many others have been doing so well with their guidance, I didn't feel the need to post.

I am in your corner and I'm pulling for you. I know all too well how much it sucks to deal with this crap while over there.


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Her sister's wedding is today. I sent her sister a short congratulations:
Just wanted to say congratulations on the wedding. I hope you and XXX are happy together for a long time. And I hope you enjoy the gifts from WW and I. The only advice I can give you is to focus on how you're feeling on your wedding day, when you're saying the vows, when you're dancing afterwards. Remember how you feel, remember why you want to be married. It's easy for people to lose sight of those feelings and memories, but if you hold onto them, they will carry you through the hard times and keep you grounded in reality.

With Love,
GG



And a congratulations to her parents:
I just wanted to congratulate you and XXX on XXXXX & XXXXX wedding. I hope her and XXX spend many happy years together, and I hope they enjoy WW and I's wedding presents.

Again, if there's anything I can do to help you and your family during this time, please let me know. I'll be sending WW a little more money than usual this month so she can pass it along to you guys. It's not much, but hopefully it can help.

-GG

And I sent a short email to my WW:
Just wanted to write you before you go to your sister's wedding. I
hope it goes well, I'm sure it will be beautiful. I hope that seeing
XXX and XXXXX exchanging vows and getting married reminds you of how
we felt the day we got married. Of the vows that we wrote ourselves,
and why we wanted to be married. Of the commitment involved, and the
promises to work through anything together, for better or worse. I
remember it all vividly, and still feel the same today. Remembering
why I wanted to be married to you, and how good I felt once I was is
something that gives me strength every day. I hope it's a wonderful
day for XXXX, and I hope you enjoy the wedding too. But I also hope
you take some time to think. I love you, and I miss my best friend.


Last edited by Gerkaguards; 05/23/10 03:14 AM.
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