Originally Posted by ElunaInNC
I have been talking to WS about expressing his honest emotions with me. He responded with this......

"i know most of the time i look like this whole mess doesn't bother me, part of it is avoidance and dealing with small parts of it at a time, part of it is so that DS isn't bombarded by our emotions all the time
but it does bother me but i can't let it rule my thoughts all day everyday....i would go insane if i did."

Umm how should I take this? Is this normal for a WS? Or is this a red flag? I am so confused. Please help.

Normal. I don't see a red flag here. He is compartmentalizing in order to cope. My FWH did/does the same thing. He said he has to put it away or the guilt and shame of what he did would be too much for him to bear but that he remembers it every day, like a trauma. After seeing him crying his eyes out over what he did to me, I accept that. He needs to heal, too. As does your H.

D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!