It is hard it seems like every time I ask her not to or to do something, she does the oposite of what I need.

She tells me that she thinks one of her guy friends might be getting to close, wanting more. I ask her to cut contact then. What does she do, keeps texting, talking on facebook, asking him to come over and help with some yard projects. I know what that kind of stuff leads to. She knows what I went through with my last wife, but she does it anyway. Then acts like i'm being unreasonable.

Now shes in that "I need space" mode, and she took of her engagement ring. I've done my share of bad things, I'm on edge alot, damn grumpy sometimes, plain hard to be around. She thinks I act that intentionally.

Hell sometimes I don't know why I get so mad. Actually I do, just wish I could make it stop. After I came home in Oct08 it was hard on her. I think your on to something I do think she is worried how it is going to be when i come home this time. I worry to. I'm a medic with an infantry company, the odds of me getting an "easy" deployment are slim. so I know I'm going to "off" when I get home (just like the rest of the tours)

rambling again just have not been able to get some of this out


Finally Healing working towards the day when I can be a good partner, and choose someone good for me.

Most Current relationship ended with her cheating and kicking me out on the streets.

2 PA 1999 w/ IA.

1 EA 2002.

IA & PA 2003/2004. (while I was deployed and brought the bast*** around my boy)

Thinking is easy, action is difficult; to act in accordance with one's thoughts is the most difficult thing in the world.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe