We had a good time at the beach on Friday. We got to enjoy watching DS explore the sand and waves.

Saturday was family reunion, so we were both stressed to the max when we finally left.

Sunday: got an email from WS new friend. She seemed to misunderstand WS's request and seemed to be informing him that should she hear something for POSOW she would let him know what was up.

WS ended up replying to her email that he did not want to know anything about POSOW. That he had ended and affair with her in March and now wanted nothing to do with her. That he and I are trying to work to fix the problems in our marriage.

I think he is showing a lot of accountability by reacting like that.

Me on the other hand, I am still having days I just want to walk away. We tried to SF last night, but I kept seeing images of POSOW and WS in my mind. Every time we would get close to enjoying ourselves, I would have those images pop into my mind. After the third round I finally gave up and settled on snuggling with WS.

I explained that I was having unpleasant images (not what the images were of) and that it was interfering in the mood. I explained that I am having trouble right now, because even though I see that he is doing everything I have asked (and then some) to mae things better, I need to feel like the only woman in his heart. And at this point, I just don't feel that.

Is it that we don't have enough UA time? Is that why I am still having so much trouble? Lately when we do have some UA time, either I fall asleep and/or we end up watching TV. I understand that is not they way to make things better. What can we do to bond, that will not involve leaving the house (typically UA time is after DS is put in bed so leaving the house is not really an option atm.)

Also I have been looking at picking up a book like 101 nights of great sex, to try to kick start the SF back and give me another focus so that images won't leak into my mind.

Any other suggestions? Please help.

Me - BS
Him - WS
Discovery 3/26/10
NC letter mailed 5/27/10
NC letter recieved 5/29/10
My Thread

Recovery may not be an option. Seriously looking a plan B/D