And shortly after SF: I felt the need to get on the laptop and he felt the need to play video games (single player).

You do realize this was your mistake, right?

If the laptop and his video games are mutual IB, they need to go... for both of you. That's not to say you can't return to them later on down the road, but at this critical stage, they need to go.

It takes 3 days to learn a new habit (or something like that) so the next time this urge hits you (both of you) go for a walk outside (even if its midnight and raining - more romantic anyway!), go to the kitchen and cook omlets together, give each other a shower, you get the idea.

Change your old habits.

Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story