Miss Vanilla,

My frustration was that my alternate point of view was deleted for being.... alternate. I have a deep and abiding respect for MB principles and concepts. However, in my own situation I had to divorce my wife, and based my decision in part on sound advice from MB posters who advised Plan D. Had I heard a cacophony of voices telling me to Plan A her, I might have gotten confused during a very confusing time. Instead, I severed cleanly, neatly, and with a minimum of emotionally wrenching nights deciding "what to do".

I certainly wouldn't recommend Plan D for everyone. But I thought from early on that Gerka's situation was one that called for it, the sooner the better.

It's also a bit frustrating when people "this is Marriage BUILDERS, not Marriage DESTROYERS" or things to that effect, because it seems to imply that divorce is not ever the best option. I disagree. Sometimes it becomes the "least worst" option (as it was for me, and as I believe it is for Gerka).

Anyway, just my two cents.. water under the bridge now. I just wanted to give Gerka my opinion as one who went through what he is going through now, paying it forward if you will, because I appreciated the guidance I received through my divorce!

Best wishes...