Originally Posted by Mrs_Vanilla
Yeah, frustrating...until you remember that this is Marriage Builders, and that Gerka still felt he could continue in his efforts to recover his marriage. If the goal was possible, if he needed to try just a bit more, I think a better way to serve that is to respectfully advise.

Miss Vanilla,

My frustration was that my alternate point of view was deleted for being.... alternate. I have a deep and abiding respect for MB principles and concepts. However, in my own situation I had to divorce my wife, and based my decision in part on sound advice from MB posters who advised Plan D. Had I heard a cacophony of voices telling me to Plan A her, I might have gotten confused during a very confusing time. Instead, I severed cleanly, neatly, and with a minimum of emotionally wrenching nights deciding "what to do".

I certainly wouldn't recommend Plan D for everyone. But I thought from early on that Gerka's situation was one that called for it, the sooner the better.

It's also a bit frustrating when people "this is Marriage BUILDERS, not Marriage DESTROYERS" or things to that effect, because it seems to imply that divorce is not ever the best option. I disagree. Sometimes it becomes the "least worst" option (as it was for me, and as I believe it is for Gerka).

Anyway, just my two cents.. water under the bridge now. I just wanted to give Gerka my opinion as one who went through what he is going through now, paying it forward if you will, because I appreciated the guidance I received through my divorce!

Best wishes...

Formerly ConfuzedHusband
WW (Now XW)
Married 4 years, No children.
EA/PA from 2/2008 to 5/2008.
DDay: 5/17/2008 - Separated 6/1/2008 - Filed 8/3/2008
Divorce final 3/2009.

Now in a committed relationship with a woman of character who loves me so much better and deeper than I ever dreamed possible. I had no idea what I was missing out on and am so grateful God gave me a free "second chance" at love and life.