Originally Posted by markos
And what really bugs me is that anybody who thinks they know better can go start their own website if they want. But they resent the fact that this used to be a free-for-all exchange of ideas on marriage where every perspective was equal, they want a community like that, and they feel entitled to the community here. They want to use the community that Dr. Harley built at his expense, rather than doing the hard work of building their own.

They want to get their way at somebody else's expense.

Hmm, as I remember, that's a recipe for a bad marriage. Interesting coincidence.

I heard a quote that reminds me a lot of what I learned here at MB. "I don't have to be right not to like something." I fully believe in the MB program. But I think the Basic Concepts are universal ideas that are also explained in other sources, and if I can quote something that helps a person hear what they are looking to hear in a way that they can hear it, then I think it's great, too. Most of the stuff I want to quote is right here, but it doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing thing. Dr. H makes references to other sources, like in the articles about an alcoholic spouse, suggesting Alanon as an option, and giving the name of a book on female sexuality in the HNHN chapter on SF. There is an amazing amount of information given here free, but it can in no way be all-encompassing. If folks use the Dave Ramsey materials, for example, to find POJA on FS, I fail to see the harm in that.

Also, in the When to Call It Quits newsletters, Dr. H doesn't say that there's anything wrong with the folks who settle for less than a fully recovered loving marriage. He discusses all the options respectfully. In the newsletter to men, he even validates why men would stay in a sexless marriage, because they don't want to lose custody of the kids.

I suspect that you and I markos, disagree on a whole lot less than we agree on. Just that post rubbed me the wrong way. Lots of times we don't like something, doesn't make the other person wrong.

Me 40, OD 18 and YD 13
Married 15 years, Divorced 10/2010