Originally Posted by MarriedForever
It's an interesting conundrum because personally I wouldn't want to spend UA time with DH if he is continually LBing me with an IB/AH/refusal to use POJA.

Not only would I not want to spend the time, but any UA time would be undone by these LBers. Everyone is different in how they respond to stimuli in the LB$s I suppose.

For me LB$ deposits were not made if POJA was not being used concurrently and I suspect CWMI is the same way.

I dunno MF, I just know what I've read Dr. Harley advise over and over...The "you're not there yet" type of thing that Mr. W quoted in his post comes to mind...Avoiding obvious love busters, certainly - but the elimination of annoying habits must come later - pointing out how each of you annoy the other is an enemy of intimate conversation as Mr. W also cited - Many couples come to Dr. Harley with GIANT amounts of conflict, but I've never seen him try to tackle those things first - Instead he remains consistent in putting resolution of conflict on the back burner and pulls UA time to the front.

Mrs. W

FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered