Just wanted to state that God would never send you anyone who would lead you to break your own marriage vows, commit adultery or lie to your husband or others. So OM isn't from God. Where he came from I can't say, but God didn't send him your way as a reward for your suffering or as a replacement for your husband.

And just so you know, the statistical likelihood of your relationship with this OM ending in marriage is about 0.05 probability of getting that far. And the probability of it resulting in a better, happier and long lasting marriage of even 5 years is about 0.0375 at best. For perspective, playing Russian roulette with a 6 shot revolver is a probability of 0.8333 that you will not kill yourself or "win." This is 0.96 that you will lose. Not very good odds.

Snowball in hell comes to mind here...

Your probability of being able to repair your marriage and end up happy with your current husband is better than 0.35 or so and that might be the better bet as compared to 0.037 for your chances with OM. In other words, you are 100 times more likely to end up in a happy marriage with your husband than with OM.

Your current situation is not the result of your husband's affair but the result of yours. To stand any chance of recovery or even of doing what would be the right thing to do you need to cut all ties with OM. Not just a promise to not keep fooling around until after a divorce but no contact of any kind and a commitment to that NC for the rest of your life. ONLY under such conditions can there be any chance that your marriage might be restored. As long as OM is waiting in the wings you won't give all that you have and your husband can't give all that he has because you won't be accepting what he is giving as long as you are waiting for OM to ride in and carry you away.