BTDT, he refused my phone calls and came home drunk off his butt. No thanks. We worked this out with the help of SH, remember? SH didn't suggest I just tolerate it, he told my H to get a new job where this stuff wasn't required of him.

Which he said he did.

Except he didn't.

Ned--the only thing I can think of that's off is we skipped church three weeks in a row. One was to go visit my FIL (high stress there). But we went today. I thought it was great, asked him afterwards what he took away from the sermon, and he said nothing, what was I looking for him to take away from it?

It was about technology and getting into more face-to-face interaction, but there was a part that hit me like a ton of bricks: the preacher (not Andy, another one) said that it should bother us if our loved ones don't care if we're distracted from them. And H does that--he WANTS me to not care if I don't have his attention. He wants me to not care if he cares for me or not. At least historically and very recently, but there was that little time period in there when stuff was as it should be.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)