cwmi, I hope y'all have kissed and made up now, but I'm wondering, if part of the problem is that you see your H as, I'm not sure the right word, but like flawed, and he already has trouble connecting with you, having empathy for you, because it gets in his way already, and then this dynamic just feeds that?

Like some folks do take off a day of school at your kids' ages, and college folks usually have Fridays with no class, just homework, and they do usually travel and make up their work or turn it in early and stuff. Y'all should have POJAd it, I know, but maybe he's not like a total imbecile about the trip?

And I'm not surprised your H doesn't post here, it could be one of 100 reasons. But he knows if he comes here, if you're harsh and resilient about calling him to the mat, well we'll multiply that by 100. Why would he sign up for that, when if he's just willing to wait it out, he still sees Plan C as the most likely outcome? It is easy for him to take the perspective that he has nothing to lose in his current actions, and everything to gain, throwing you back off balance. You've lived that way at least 10 years now, would two years here convince him the situation has changed? Apparently it hasn't.

Me 40, OD 18 and YD 13
Married 15 years, Divorced 10/2010