Originally Posted by kilted_thrower
And I can't imagine him not wanting a happy marriage either.

Huge DJ. Of the sneakiest kind. Thinking well of someone. Assuming they have "good" intentions.
I want a happy marriage. Like I want to win the lottery. As in: it would be nice if it happens. But I can easily imagine Mr. CWMI not wanting it enough to do the required work. Not enough to be O&H or to ues POJA. Not when it interferes with IB.

Or maybe he simply is not interested in working as hard as CWMI wants him to work. Maybe he wants to be lazy. Maybe he is willing to accept that some of his ENs will never be met. And he expects CWMI to accept that some of her needs will never be met. That doesn't make him a "bad" person. But it makes him incompatible with CWMI, who seems dead set on constantly working toward meeting her ENS, and who expects her husband to work just as hard toward that goal. There are plenty of people in this world who are not motivated to "be all they can be". Which is OK. Unless they are married to someone who expects them to try harder. THAT is a difference that is very hard to POJA.

I agree that Mr. CWMI would prefer a happy marriage to an unhappy one. But that does not imply that he is willing to pay the price to get there. Which puts CWMI in a very unpleasant situation.

When you can see it coming, duck!