CWMI at the end of the day he will have to face the consequences of his actions.

See, he lied to them, too, told them that he was quitting there because he'd found a new job that had no travel or spouse-excluding events. Made a pretty big deal about it, too.

Further proof that he KNEW what the requirements for the new job were. I could understand his being upset if the job reversed a previous promise for no travel, etc., but he got no promise from them, just assumptions and wishful thinking.

His deceitful behavior (and I believed he deceived himself here too) has completely eroded your love for him. It has affected his career standing. These are the consequences of HIS decisions.

You can't protect a person from the consequences of their mistakes. It was his job to keep your love for him intact. He knew it was tenuous at best, he knew what he had to do to keep it as you were very clear and you now have outside confirmation of that from his old boss. He decided to do a shoddy job and now the consequences are here.

He loves you enough to want you around, but not enough to try to keep you happy while you're there. He loves you because you make his life better in some way, but that love doesn't inspire him to make your life better. That's why his mantra is for you to 'just deal' with everything. It seems his ideal world has you meeting his needs, leaving him free to meet your needs as they are convenient or when then can be bent around his true values: himself, his image, and his job. There's a word for that: Freeloader.

He needs to face the consequences of the Love Bank balance he has overdrawn in your account. You can't keep giving him loans. He never repays.

Last edited by Vibrissa; 10/07/10 02:32 PM.

Me & DH: 28
Married 8/20/05
1DD, 9 mo.
Just Lookin' and Learnin'