Hi Itsamess. I sure wish I had some advice for you. I never was into sex with my ex for the act itself, but for the enjoyment he got out of it and (yeah, this is selfish) for how much better he was to me when he got it regularly. If you don't have a drive, you don't have a drive.

Since you had a PA in the past, that gives me hope that your husband can generate the desire in you. But it must be extremely extremely hurtful for him to know this man aroused in ways he cannot. Even if he's contributing to the fact you aren't interested in sex with him.

Have you looked into what about these EAs was so appealing? How can your husband turn himself into a guy like those EA men, or is it based on too much fantasy for him to be able to do so?

I'm not a counselor though, so these are my novice thoughts...

"If you will stop feeding your feelings, then they will stop controlling you" -Joyce Meyer