Originally Posted by CWMI
Originally Posted by inrecoverynow
Originally Posted by writer1
For me, writing is a need. It fulfills me, gives my life a sense of purpose, helps me understand the world around me. It may not be an EN that my H can fulfill, but it is still a need, and he can support that need by supporting my writing, giving me time to devote to my art, encouraging me, etc.

I do not believe that the top 10 EN's are the only things that we as human beings need in life, and I don't think the Harley's intended them to be.

Have you asked your H what needs are being fulfilled by traveling? What this ability to travel adds to his life? Maybe trying to understand why he wants to continue to travel will help you to discover a solution to this impasse you two seem to be stuck in.

I have an artistic need as well. It's my outlet, how I cope with life.

BUT, I don't let my artistic needs come before marital needs. My artistic needs are only elevated when they help fulfill the other emotional needs. For example, with one of my artistic outlets, I can make twice as much money per hour as my husband can. So, in this case, my artistic need is elevated because it also provides FS.

Or, we might attend an artistic event as part of RC. But, this is POJA'd. If my husband didn't agree, I wouldn't push for it, or even attend events on my own, even if he didn't agree.

Otherwise, the marital needs (and my kids needs) have higher priority over my artistic needs.

And, actually, pursuing my artistic needs in the wrong time or place can actually allow others to begin to fulfill my emotional needs, rather than my husband.

Exactly. If you're putting your personal needs, not matter how noble or moral they may be, over the needs of your marriage, why are you married? Why bother torturing another person by shoving your personal fulfillment on them against their will?

Aren't you kind of shoving your will onto your H as well?

Again, I see no desire from you to sit down with your H and actually listen to how he feels about this. You seem to have no consideration for his feelings at all, and then you get angry when he doesn't consider yours.

Me: BS/FWW: 48
BS/WH: 50
DS: 30, 27, 25
DD: 28
OC: 10
BH and I are raising my OC together.