Originally Posted by inrecoverynow
See, I don't agree. If travel is a need, why is Business travel the only way for Mr CWMIs need to be met? If travel is a need, why isn't he whisking CWMI and their family on vacations, long weekend get-aways, etc? Why wouldn't Mr. CWMI's need for travel be part of RC?

Now, I'm presuming that your husband knew about your writing before you got married. What if he had said "Writer, I support you 100% on your writing," and then after marriage and children said "Nope, sorry Writer. For what ever reason, I'm not supporting you on your writing anymore. Oh, and I'm not sure I really ever supported your writing 100% of the time. I just went along with it in the beginning, because, well, I did. And now, I actually don't think I ever really liked you writing. Opps, I guess I misrepresented myself. Too bad, so sad"

Then, writer, what would you do?

I'm not saying his need for travel couldn't be fulfilled by family travel. Ideally, it could. Maybe this is something they could explore.

In the case of CWMI's H, he probably could stay in the same line of work and not travel as well. Some occupations, such as my previous example of an airline pilot, that simply wouldn't be possible. If it was his dream to be a pilot, and his wife wasn't happy about him traveling, then some sort of sacrifice would have to be made by one spouse, and sacrifice is never good. CWMI's H has a job that doesn't seem to require travel, and yet he chooses to do it anyway. I don't know why, but I think it is something she should explore. What is he getting out of traveling for business? Is there some other way to fulfill this need that would be mutually agreeable to both of them?

As far as your other question, yes my H did know about my writing before I married him, and he did support that. If he changed his mind now and said he would no longer support it, or that he never really did, then our M probably wouldn't have much of a chance at succeeding. It isn't something I'm willing to give up. Luckily, my H knows this and appreciates it. My love of writing is one of the things about me that he loves, because it is one of the most integral things that make me who I am.

That doesn't mean that we don't have to POJA certain things about my writing. We POJA lots of things: writing time, budget for books and other supplies, if/when I attend conferences and other writing related events.

But a flat-out, no, I don't like this, I don't want you doing it, I won't ever agree to it under any circumstances doesn't really leave itself open much to the POJA, does it?

Me: BS/FWW: 48
BS/WH: 50
DS: 30, 27, 25
DD: 28
OC: 10
BH and I are raising my OC together.